Tuesday, 13 July 2010

All I Need

Thirty years of living,
same soul by my side.
Thirty years of loving,
can't say we haven't tried.
Sometimes there is no end,
joined as one for all time.
Sometimes that's what we intend,
but then it's not our will but thine.
There were some good years,
but lately mostly bad.
There were such happy tears,
but lately mostly sad.
If you can smile in the end,
knowing we shared love for a little bit,
then I'll know peace without end,
and I'll know happy when I find it.
And of all we possess, I want nothing.
Because even though I have now lost it, I did know your love for a brief moment in eternity. That memory is my most valued possession. That, and the love I still have for you, is all I need.

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

No Answers Here

Sitting at the bar, a pint of courage in my hand.
Joe Cocker's "Unchain My Heart" being butchered by the band.
But I don't care, cause the words are so true.
Let me go, I want to (need to) start anew.

Would you like another? She asks as she tells me her name.
I nod that I would and I smile at her game.
If she only knew, that's the last thing I need.
I've been playing too long, I've nothing left to bleed.

So I call to her that I've changed my mind.
Just bring me the check, I've run out of time.
It didn't take me long, just one quick beer,
to know that there are no answers for me here.

I once believed...

Alone again. Alone this night.
Dwelling on my dreams and fears.
Alone again, no more light.
So many failures bring the tears.
I once could dream.
I once believed.
I fear I will never dream again.

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

I am alone

Sometimes the past is better left in the past.
But always that advice comes from one who speaks from experience.
People always want more in their life
and when part of their past is missing it is natural to want to discover it.
Sometimes at any cost.
I have a hidden past.
Not hidden as much as it once was, but still hidden.
The parts I have learned, uncovered,
are proof positive that the past is better left in the past.
Still, I cannot seem to leave well enough alone.
Surely acquiring knowledge you were better off not knowing
does not entice one to continue on down that path? So why then?
Why must I continue this journey?
I suppose, because it is MY journey.
It is the only journey I have travelled.
I think it is natural, it is compelling,
to want to know all about each and every stop I made
on the journey that brought me to this point in my life.
Perhaps in doing this I will be more able to carry on, positively.
Perhaps not.
There is risk. Always.
But I have always liked taking risks.
Perhaps because I never knew the comfort of the known,
the unknown was just as enticing?
One regret. No matter how many people surround me, I am alone.
Why have I been burdened with such a curse as loneliness?

Tell Me God

The tragedies of children wrought
when the Devil takes their innocence.
A mother's soul this Devil sought,
but that knowing is of little consequence.
And thus my childhood began,
fearing the fists of a drunken man.
But I don't think I escaped the Devil's plan,
even though I'm the "luckiest" of my clan.
Time heals all wounds is the biggest lie,
as years turn into decades past.
The pain is worse as each year goes by,
why can't I find happiness that lasts?
So tell me God, creator of earth,
what good you see in a child's tears?
What value a child's soul from birth?
What right have you to impose these fears?
Am I bitter? I guess I am.
For decades dancing to the Devil's plan.
While with just one wave of your hand,
you could have shown me the promised land.